Life

Focusing

Today I am having the worse time focusing.  I woke up at 3am with an anxiety attack.  The past few nights despite the turmoil that I have been going through, I have been sleeping through the night because I have been sleeping with 32 lbs of weighted blankets on me.  As promised yesterday I guess that I should start at the beginning of one of the reasons that I wrote my book Should I Have Told You That? .

In 2010 I was at work.  At the time I was thirty years old and taking a break from management working as a sales associate at a major apparel chain back in Charlotte after living in Nashville for a year.  Out of nowhere I began to feel really odd, but physically everything was fine.  I was not nauseated, or in pain, feverish, or even felt weak… just off.  I went up to my manager and basically said, “I don’t feel well.  I need to call my mom to pick me up.”  My parents were living nearby, and my mom was retired, so it was a quick twenty minute drive to the mall.  After calling her, I went to the backroom, clocked out, opened my locker, and grabbed my purse.  This is when things get foggy.  Within the five to ten minutes that I spoke with my manager I left the back room, walked maybe fifty feet to a bench, and sat down.

From there I have heard two stories.  The first from the manager that I spoke to that was there, and the second from my mom when she arrived at the store.  Within the ten minutes I was off the sales floor I arrived back a completely different person.  I went from an articulate, poised and communicative person, to someone who was slurring, slouching and not able to make any connection with my manager.  It was if I slammed back twelve shots of whiskey simultaneously, and it all hit me at once.  There was massive amounts of confusion on his part because of the drastic change.

By the time my mother arrived, he was beyond words trying to explain what transpired in such a short time.  At first when I told him that I did not feel well he was skeptical, and to be honest, I would have been as well if I was in his position.  My mom quickly left with me to rush me to the Emergency Room.  According to her when I was walking through the mall with her she described it as I was taking extremely large steps and crouching at the same time, while speaking gibberish.  Nothing was making any sense that was coming out of my mouth.  Once she got me in the car, we were at the hospital in twenty-five minutes.

I was immediately rushed back to a room and hooked up to heart monitors, and had an EKG, a MRI, a CT scan, blood drawn, multiple doctors giving me neurological tests, and by that time it was if nothing had ever happened.  By the time everything was finished and every result came back the only conclusion was that I had some sort of a stroke that was related to a complicated migraine.  Okay, so wait.  That’s all I could think.  First of all, I had never had neurological issues in my entire life, and neither had anyone on either side of my family. It was the same with migraines.  Clear on both sides.  I was in a bit of shock.  Well, more than a bit.

After I changed from my gown and released from the emergency room, while the nurse was giving me my papers she began to explain to me about how an appointment had been set up for me with a neurologist within the medical group to research my new found diagnosis.  Starting then I began a long journey of eight years of medicine, various treatments, and many, many hospital and Emergency Room visits.  Trust me, I know the doctors, physician assistants and nurses very well.  Until last November I had never met anyone with the same experience of how their migraines kicked off.  Currently, they are under control, and it makes me extremely happy.  If you have any questions about the medication I take or procedures that I have had, please feel free to ask me!

Another story for another time about my journey to where I am now, and how I got here in the past few years!

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