Yesterday I mentioned that I was having a difficult time focussing, and I found out why… I started taking Topamax for my chronic migraines about a month ago, and it is amazing. I have had problems in the past, which I will go into later, with migraine preventatives, but then a tornado and heavy storm rolled into the city. It hit everywhere except the area around my part of the county, and I live in a pretty large city. But, because of all of the air pressure and weather frenzy my occipital nerves went on fire.
I began to notice the tell, tell signs significantly after my post yesterday. I started to get very tired, and I was already not focusing, and I am quite the multitasker. Then, I decided to drive home from the coffee shop/bakery that I spend a lot of time writing at during the day. On the way home while driving I bursted out crying with a panic attack. I knew something was going on. Migraines rarely sneak up on me, so I knew that I had a few hours before it became full blown. At first I thought that it was just a panic attack, so I went with my mom shopping to kinda occupy my brain, but within an hour I was at the Emergency Room, and within another hour I a room. I had one of both my usual PAs and paramedics to take care of me. I got my usual cocktail of Benadryl, Haladol, and Toradol. I rarely get Haladol because it can cause long term issues with shaking, etc., but because both Morphine and Dilated are produced in Puerto Rico, the hospital was out of both. Within an hour I was better.
I would never say that I was scared. By this point, I have spent so much time at the hospital, that I would not say that I find it comforting, but I am not frightened that anything bad will happen. And honestly I was extremely glad that I got my usual paramedic and Pennsylvania for many reasons. Not only do they know me, and the medications that I take, so they order them immediately, but they do not question whether or not I am there just to get medication to “get high”. Also, my paramedic always gets my IV started on the first try. If you have to get IVs started a lot you know what I am talking about.
So, I told you about the Topamax. When I was diagnosed as Bipolar II in 2007 I went through the whole bevy of medications. I had psychiatrists tell me that I would never get out of bed again, or function in anyway. So, when 2010 rolled around and I started migraine medications I had already tried a lot of the medication options. I know that seems like a strange statement. Some mental illnesses and migraines are located in the same part of the brain, so psychiatrist drugs are used a lot to treat migraines. They are called “crossover drugs”. On top of those medications I already had, I was on a slew of other psychiatrist meds to treat the bipolar issue at hand, so there was never a balance. No matter what drug I tried for either disorder there was always a complication.
Now, I am only on two medications, and they are both crossovers, and Topamax was recently added on. I have had great success with it. The only slight issue that I have had with it is that it makes me have a little more anxiety, but not enough to stop taking it. I would rather be a little too much on top of things or worrisome than in bed all day. Plus, part of the nervousness is my impending move, and getting everything on target for that.
The journey to my move to New York will probably be the next thing that I talk to you about. It is not as easy as just planning to move. It has been a three year process involving getting disability status from the government. It’s so complicated that It may take a few weeks to explain it all. Even my bestest friends are still confused after being around for the entire process!