anxiety, authors, bipolar, books, kindle, Life, migraines, Uncategorized

I Know, I Know… I’m THE WORST at being consistent with my page…

So, it’s been a month.  Eventful, and not so much at the same time.  Getting settled in LA, and a semi daily routine.  After being here a week or two I was hit with so much emotion and stress from various things that I had to go to the Emergency Room with a panic attack.  Let’s start from there!

My beginning few weeks I had to wait for furniture that was continuously never delivered as promised.  I had a mattress and bags and boxes around me at all times.  Because almost everyday Wayfair PROMISED that my furniture would arrive I stayed in my room, watching TV and sweating from the heat because I only had a fan to cool the room.  Occasionally, I would leave to do things like go to Target and little government things I had to take care of immediately like healthcare insurance and EBT in California.  My furniture FINALLY arrived in a span of 10 days boxes trickled in.  Then I had to put it together.  I cannot emphasize enough how terrible Wayfair is as a company.  They ended up reordering ALL of my furniture, and letting me keep the original order when it came to my house.  FYI, the last box arrived three days ago.  Over a month after my original order.  In addition, parts were missing from my dresser, and there was no way to get the extra parts at the hardware store or anywhere.  So… I have three drawers that the faces will come off if I pull them too hard,  Seriously… Wayfair is the worst.  I’m hopefully selling my extra furniture this week.

On the health front, I have been doing amazingly well aside from the stomach bug that I caught at the end of this week after getting a doctor’s appointment so that I could get my thyroid and potassium checked.  Also, I needed referrals to a psychiatrist and therapist to schedule appointments.  Thanks Aetna… I have had to get my potassium checked frequently for about a year because my weight is always teetering around 100 lbs and it gets low.  And now I have to take prescribed potassium… yay! Over the last week or so I have been noticing how much I need talk therapy.  It has been two months since my last visit, but like I mentioned before I had to wait a month for a referral.  My bipolar traits have been coming and going.  I have been cycling some because I haven’t had talk therapy.  I haven’t met any friends yet other than occasionally hanging out with one of my roommates.  Migraines are non existent with the exception of one that I had as my Aimovig was wearing off, which I have discovered is normal for me.  Also, the first day of and after the shot I feel like absolute shit within 20 mins of the injection, so I plan to stay in those days.

Good things have been consistent.  I get to explore a lot of amazing places, and meet random people.  I have found my regular coffee shop in Silver Lake that is apart of my daily routine for a few hours a day about five times a week.  I can sit outside, get on my laptop and read in really pleasant weather.  I finally got to do two bucket list items in one week!  I went to see Paul Scheer and Friends at Largo, and see The Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight.  Both were great, but I was so excited to go to the Paul Scheer show because I listen to his podcasts, and watch tv/movies he’s in.  Also, if you don’t already follow him on Instagram and Twitter.  My next bucket list item is to see a live recording of the Podcast How Did This Get Made.  Seriously check it out on whatever you have for podcasts.

I started my focus again for reading.  I have always found myself submersed in an activity for a period of time, and then I go back to it after months of a break.  Last week I finished two books (both memoirs) in three days.  I already have two more books that I have lined up/started.  Unfortunately, with that discipline of being immersed for a period of time it has kept me from writing for a while.  I have tried a few times to essay, but I get  a block.  In addition, I am in a limbo when it comes to figuring out what I want to do with my books.  I have been turned down by every agent that I have queried so far, so it’s a little disheartening after all of the positive responses to what I have written not only by friends, but strangers.  Right now I am trying to decide if I should regroup all together and take my books off Amazon, and try the route of looking for a publisher.  I am really undecided about how I am going to handle this.  I usually am good at making decisions, so this is really annoying me and always at the back of my mind.  I hate indecisiveness and that’s exactly what I am dealing with.

Okay, I’ve babbled enough.  Any advice on what to do about my books are 100% welcomed and encouraged.  Thanks if you read all of this!!!

Much Love.

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