anxiety, authors, bipolar, books, kindle, Life, migraines, Uncategorized

Weekly Update

Mom’s day lunch lewk yesterday… overlook the bruises from the Emergency Room trips… you all know how it goes.

IMG_5107I feel so sad using that term “weekly”!  This is unfortunately my “Migraine Season” so, my weeks are spent in and out of the Emergency Room.  Surprisingly though, I get a lot of work done for my book when I am there because it is so quiet in the room, and I can block out all sounds with my ear pods in listening to chill music while I wait to see the physicians and nurses, and wait to get my meds.  Of course, there is also the hours waiting to get a room.  More surprisingly, they don’t give me weird looks when I have my MacBook out and they walk in while I am typing because they know that I cope by putting my mind’s focus on something else until I can get medicine.  And let me tell you today I have a killer migraine, and would much rather be there now, but I do not want to leave my house!

I was lucky to get out yesterday for to celebrate Mother’s Day early with my mom and das, so that was nice, then I came home and indulged in my only reality TV drama “Southern Charm”.  Other than that I have been working hard on my book.  That’s why I have been so absent!  I have three chapters to finish that I have started, but are not fully completed.  I am getting some info from my best friend since she has a photographic memory to jog mine so that the stories are accurate.

Speaking of my next book, the last stories should be completed by hopefully Wednesday this week, then on to editing, and I *hope* to publish the book titled “Anxiety Too” sometime next week in time fore a free Kindle weekend for Memorial Day weekend.  So, get your calendars marked!!!  Later in the week I will post another excerpt from a story in the book to entice you all a bit.

I hope that everyone is doing well.  I am getting a procedure done tomorrow for my migraines, so I will definitely be out of commission tomorrow, but if I can I will try to be a good girl and be back here on Tuesday 😉

I hope that everyone has a great Mom’s day!

Much love


Life, Uncategorized

Bloggin’ Out


Hey People!

Sorry the long lag!  It’s been a long week.  I’ve either been at the hospital or at home in bed.  I did get out for a few hours yesterday to go to a festival with a friend and her toddler though.  Don’t worry, I had my MacBook with me as always at the Emergency Room typing away for my upcoming book that I am publishing in a few weeks, “Anxiety Too”.  Nothing keeps me (too) down.  All of you who also have chronic migraine know how we cope!

I did get good news yesterday… I got approved for a Medicaid program that approves my medical expenses for a year!  I am beyond thankful and excited.  Just another step in my road to finalizing all of my disability loose ends.

Aside from working on the book I am hard on the search for an apartment in New York or Brooklyn.  It has been VERY difficult.  It doesn’t matter what city you are looking to rent in, it’s a challenge.  My flight up to see places was pushed back due to medical appointments, so… If you have any leads on roommates or places under $700/month, let me know!

I hope that all of you are having a great end of the weekend.  Back to writing!  FYI, my book is still for sale on Amazon Should I Have Told You That? Six star review, and not just from friends!!!!  Consistent reads on Kindle Unlimited!

Much Love!

P.S.  If you have not check out John Mulaney’s new Netflix special “Kid Gorgeous”!

Life, Uncategorized

Just Making It


Today is a rough day, I am not going to lie.  I have actually had a rough week.  I usually try to make it to a coffee shop a few times a week to relax and write, but I did not make it once this week.  Most of the week has been spent under my weighted blankets (32 lbs) on  my bed with a migraine, or crying with an anxiety attack, and writing somewhere in-between.  I went to the Emergency Room twice this week due to migraines, and neither time was fun.  I have started getting anxiety attacks about going there because I do know all of the doctors and nurses and I feel horrible that they see me all of the time during my migraine season.  Even though they have all told me that they are glad to see me as a patient in the sense that I am easy because they know what to give me, how to set up the IV for me because they know where to after seeing my arms so many times.  Even after hearing that, knowing that the little airplane next to my name signifying that I am a “frequent flyer” there still makes me uneasy.  I even took my MacBook to the Emergency Room and pounded out a story for my new book before getting meds!  So, I am trying to amp myself up by listening to a Motown mix on Spotify.

On a good front though a little disability news.  I spoke to my Medicaid case worker on Wednesday and got some things cleared up, so it looks like I will be approved for a program that I qualify that basically covers all of my medical premiums and copays, etc.  Yay!

Another positive, I woke up this morning and after taking a shower checked my twitter notifications and saw that a tweet that I sent out three weeks ago about my book was retweeted, and the tweet has been seen over 2K times, and is still growing by the hour!  I spent the day yesterday submitting to agents, and writing.

So far today, my best friend (of almost thirty-years next year) has been adding in memories of things that I forgot about of stories that I started writing.  This really warms my heart because with my first book she stood back during my process of writing and publishing, then waited to read the book with everyone else when it came out.  Now, she is reading stories when I send them along and showing coworkers to prove these things actually happened!

Sorry for a long blog.  I hope everyone is doing well, and that you are all more productive than me today… or as productive as your body lets you be!

Much Love

Life, Uncategorized



I’m going to be honest, it’s been a rough few days.  I have not been able to communicate with really anyone since Saturday other than errands I had to run to get my disability  things in further order.  Starting Sunday I woke up with a migraine, that eventually led me to the hospital, a day of recovery, then a day of severe depression (with crying in the fetal position) out of nowhere, and finalized by anxiety attacks all night, until ending this morning. So, I decided that I needed to do some self care.  I made some coffee, two English muffins, and forced myself to sit on my couch and watch three hours of late night comedy clips (I LOVE Seth Meyers) and a few sitcoms.  Now, I am recharged, and listening to an eighties mix on Spotify while I prepare to write a few stories for the next book that I hope to put out before Memorial Day weekend.

For a book update, I sold/downloaded more books than expected, and I only hope to get more notice over the holiday weekend.  I got a lot of great reviews, and not just from close friends!  So, overall I am very happy about it.  My stats are even showing there are people picking it up on kindle unlimited consistently now.  My next book is titled “Anxiety Too” and eventually I will slowly reveal why in-between more explanations of my disability acquisition process.  I know my goal was to update this daily, but as you know with the bipolar brain… shit happens, and it’s not when you plan it to.

Anyway, I hope that everyone’s weekend went well!  Fell free to share the good and the bad with me if you want or need to chat!

Much Love.


Life, Uncategorized


IT’S FINALLY HERE!  I’m so nervous and excited! t’s 6:45am and I’m hoping that I get a lot of downloads today of my book. So far I have 3 and it was just released 3 hours ago! Get it for free ASAP! “Should I Have Told You That?” on Amazon Download my book it’s FREE TODAY ON  It’s 6:45am! Listen to me! Should I Have Told You That?Should_I_have_Told_Y_Cover_for_Kindle

Life, Uncategorized

You’re Giving Me What? You Had To Pee Where?

IMG_3134.jpgI know that I was going to talk about going on disability, but I was reading a lot of your posts today about issues with your medication, and I wanted to tell you about what happened to me this past November.

This past summer was terrible, well to be honest the year just was not great.  The only two psychiatric meds that I take are Klonopin and Lamictal, and they work great for me. Previously I had taken up to five or six medications at once.  The only time of year that I add a medication is during the holidays, and it’s Wellbutrin.  Because the year was not going so great I stayed on it throughout the year due to a lot of just things that kept piling on due to my disability appeal/hearing process, then I had to put down my dog, and then three months later the family dog had to be put down.  In the middle of all of this I got the flu and the nurse practitioner I saw at urgent care prescribed me doxycycline (the devil antibiotic) which wiped out all of the good bacteria in my body and what was working for my psychiatric medications AND migraine medications.  So, after that my body was a real hot mess.  My psychiatrist kept me on the same medication though, but I had to go back as an inpatient in a hospital for head and neck pain in Michigan because my migraines.

So, to make it short, I returned in early September, and because I was still having some depression issues my psychiatrist added on Lithium.  She sent me to get a test to check my levels before starting treatment.  The labs messed up my samples, but it was too late because I had already began taking the medication.  When I saw her a month later, I was still having issues with sleeping, etc. so she decided to double my night dose… without having my Lithium levels checked first.  I should probably tell you guys that my thyroid was removed six years ago, so symptoms associated with your thyroid being off can mimic a lot of other disorders.

It was time for my six month check up with my endocrinologist, and he did a full blood panel.  I  knew  that something was wrong because I was constantly exhausted, weak, and all I wanted to do was sleep, and I was not hungry.  He did extra blood work, but once again, things were fine.  Never the less, he adjusted my medication.  Over the next few weeks I became worse.  I did not leave bed, I was in my pajamas all day, and I needed someone to help me walk up and down stairs.  My hair was coming out in fistfuls, and I constantly had a headache and nausea.  I literally thought that I was having a complicated migraine, which is rare in winter for me.

Finally, I was in the Emergency Room and my mom was with me and asked the doctor to pull a Lithium blood level test.  He did, and then said that it would not be ready until the next day, which we thought was weird that the lab was closed for that test.  He treated me for a migraine and I left.  Five hours later the EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT CALLED ME (when does that ever happen?) to let me know that I needed to return immediately because they did test my level, and it was double the toxicity level.  When I arrived, they basically put me in an Emergency Room immediately, and double bagged me in two ports with saline to flush out the Lithium.  I spent the night in the Emergency Room waiting on a room in the ICU, which I finally got at six am.  I will spare all of the gruesome details, but I will tell you what the bathroom situation was.  There wasn’t one.

There was a curtain on the side of the room to cover the toilet and you while you did your business, which was a lot because you were hooked up to a constant stream of saline (and heart monitors, blood pressure cuff, and pulse monitor).  After you were finished, there was no sink or water, just hand sanitizer.  It was gross.  By the third time I was over calling a nurse so I learned how to unhook myself from the machines to go pee by myself.  They just overlooked it.  But the bathroom experience was one of the most dehumanizing things I have ever had to do.

By the way, this was the same week my best friend was visiting from the northeast for a wedding that I was to be her date.  She came three days later, and I rallied up for the weekend in time.  Lithium toxicity was a bitch.  It’s almost six months later and my hair is just growing back long enough to fill in the parts that fell out.  The patchy and splotches in my skin has finally went away, and other weird things like my face becoming really pale and dry has finally turned around and is back to normal.  I’m still sad about my hair (hey I’m a female).

Was I angry with my psychiatrist?  Hell yeah!  Do I still see her?  Yes.  Why?  It’s called “practicing medicine” and if doctors knew what to do to fix everything, then we would not need them.