anxiety, authors, bipolar, books, kindle, Life, migraines, Uncategorized

I Know, I Know… I’m THE WORST at being consistent with my page…

So, it’s been a month.  Eventful, and not so much at the same time.  Getting settled in LA, and a semi daily routine.  After being here a week or two I was hit with so much emotion and stress from various things that I had to go to the Emergency Room with a panic attack.  Let’s start from there!

My beginning few weeks I had to wait for furniture that was continuously never delivered as promised.  I had a mattress and bags and boxes around me at all times.  Because almost everyday Wayfair PROMISED that my furniture would arrive I stayed in my room, watching TV and sweating from the heat because I only had a fan to cool the room.  Occasionally, I would leave to do things like go to Target and little government things I had to take care of immediately like healthcare insurance and EBT in California.  My furniture FINALLY arrived in a span of 10 days boxes trickled in.  Then I had to put it together.  I cannot emphasize enough how terrible Wayfair is as a company.  They ended up reordering ALL of my furniture, and letting me keep the original order when it came to my house.  FYI, the last box arrived three days ago.  Over a month after my original order.  In addition, parts were missing from my dresser, and there was no way to get the extra parts at the hardware store or anywhere.  So… I have three drawers that the faces will come off if I pull them too hard,  Seriously… Wayfair is the worst.  I’m hopefully selling my extra furniture this week.

On the health front, I have been doing amazingly well aside from the stomach bug that I caught at the end of this week after getting a doctor’s appointment so that I could get my thyroid and potassium checked.  Also, I needed referrals to a psychiatrist and therapist to schedule appointments.  Thanks Aetna… I have had to get my potassium checked frequently for about a year because my weight is always teetering around 100 lbs and it gets low.  And now I have to take prescribed potassium… yay! Over the last week or so I have been noticing how much I need talk therapy.  It has been two months since my last visit, but like I mentioned before I had to wait a month for a referral.  My bipolar traits have been coming and going.  I have been cycling some because I haven’t had talk therapy.  I haven’t met any friends yet other than occasionally hanging out with one of my roommates.  Migraines are non existent with the exception of one that I had as my Aimovig was wearing off, which I have discovered is normal for me.  Also, the first day of and after the shot I feel like absolute shit within 20 mins of the injection, so I plan to stay in those days.

Good things have been consistent.  I get to explore a lot of amazing places, and meet random people.  I have found my regular coffee shop in Silver Lake that is apart of my daily routine for a few hours a day about five times a week.  I can sit outside, get on my laptop and read in really pleasant weather.  I finally got to do two bucket list items in one week!  I went to see Paul Scheer and Friends at Largo, and see The Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight.  Both were great, but I was so excited to go to the Paul Scheer show because I listen to his podcasts, and watch tv/movies he’s in.  Also, if you don’t already follow him on Instagram and Twitter.  My next bucket list item is to see a live recording of the Podcast How Did This Get Made.  Seriously check it out on whatever you have for podcasts.

I started my focus again for reading.  I have always found myself submersed in an activity for a period of time, and then I go back to it after months of a break.  Last week I finished two books (both memoirs) in three days.  I already have two more books that I have lined up/started.  Unfortunately, with that discipline of being immersed for a period of time it has kept me from writing for a while.  I have tried a few times to essay, but I get  a block.  In addition, I am in a limbo when it comes to figuring out what I want to do with my books.  I have been turned down by every agent that I have queried so far, so it’s a little disheartening after all of the positive responses to what I have written not only by friends, but strangers.  Right now I am trying to decide if I should regroup all together and take my books off Amazon, and try the route of looking for a publisher.  I am really undecided about how I am going to handle this.  I usually am good at making decisions, so this is really annoying me and always at the back of my mind.  I hate indecisiveness and that’s exactly what I am dealing with.

Okay, I’ve babbled enough.  Any advice on what to do about my books are 100% welcomed and encouraged.  Thanks if you read all of this!!!

Much Love.

anxiety, authors, bipolar, books, kindle, Life, migraines, Uncategorized

They’re Free TODAY!!! (Sat & Sun)

Amazon Author’s Page

Hey Guys!

Both of my books went free today for Memorial Day weekend on Amazon Kindle!  Please repost!  Much Love!

anxiety, authors, bipolar, books, kindle, Life, migraines, Uncategorized

Weekly Update

Mom’s day lunch lewk yesterday… overlook the bruises from the Emergency Room trips… you all know how it goes.

IMG_5107I feel so sad using that term “weekly”!  This is unfortunately my “Migraine Season” so, my weeks are spent in and out of the Emergency Room.  Surprisingly though, I get a lot of work done for my book when I am there because it is so quiet in the room, and I can block out all sounds with my ear pods in listening to chill music while I wait to see the physicians and nurses, and wait to get my meds.  Of course, there is also the hours waiting to get a room.  More surprisingly, they don’t give me weird looks when I have my MacBook out and they walk in while I am typing because they know that I cope by putting my mind’s focus on something else until I can get medicine.  And let me tell you today I have a killer migraine, and would much rather be there now, but I do not want to leave my house!

I was lucky to get out yesterday for to celebrate Mother’s Day early with my mom and das, so that was nice, then I came home and indulged in my only reality TV drama “Southern Charm”.  Other than that I have been working hard on my book.  That’s why I have been so absent!  I have three chapters to finish that I have started, but are not fully completed.  I am getting some info from my best friend since she has a photographic memory to jog mine so that the stories are accurate.

Speaking of my next book, the last stories should be completed by hopefully Wednesday this week, then on to editing, and I *hope* to publish the book titled “Anxiety Too” sometime next week in time fore a free Kindle weekend for Memorial Day weekend.  So, get your calendars marked!!!  Later in the week I will post another excerpt from a story in the book to entice you all a bit.

I hope that everyone is doing well.  I am getting a procedure done tomorrow for my migraines, so I will definitely be out of commission tomorrow, but if I can I will try to be a good girl and be back here on Tuesday 😉

I hope that everyone has a great Mom’s day!

Much love

 

Life, Uncategorized

Bloggin’ Out

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Hey People!

Sorry the long lag!  It’s been a long week.  I’ve either been at the hospital or at home in bed.  I did get out for a few hours yesterday to go to a festival with a friend and her toddler though.  Don’t worry, I had my MacBook with me as always at the Emergency Room typing away for my upcoming book that I am publishing in a few weeks, “Anxiety Too”.  Nothing keeps me (too) down.  All of you who also have chronic migraine know how we cope!

I did get good news yesterday… I got approved for a Medicaid program that approves my medical expenses for a year!  I am beyond thankful and excited.  Just another step in my road to finalizing all of my disability loose ends.

Aside from working on the book I am hard on the search for an apartment in New York or Brooklyn.  It has been VERY difficult.  It doesn’t matter what city you are looking to rent in, it’s a challenge.  My flight up to see places was pushed back due to medical appointments, so… If you have any leads on roommates or places under $700/month, let me know!

I hope that all of you are having a great end of the weekend.  Back to writing!  FYI, my book is still for sale on Amazon Should I Have Told You That? Six star review, and not just from friends!!!!  Consistent reads on Kindle Unlimited!

Much Love!

P.S.  If you have not check out John Mulaney’s new Netflix special “Kid Gorgeous”!

Life, Uncategorized

Just Making It

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Today is a rough day, I am not going to lie.  I have actually had a rough week.  I usually try to make it to a coffee shop a few times a week to relax and write, but I did not make it once this week.  Most of the week has been spent under my weighted blankets (32 lbs) on  my bed with a migraine, or crying with an anxiety attack, and writing somewhere in-between.  I went to the Emergency Room twice this week due to migraines, and neither time was fun.  I have started getting anxiety attacks about going there because I do know all of the doctors and nurses and I feel horrible that they see me all of the time during my migraine season.  Even though they have all told me that they are glad to see me as a patient in the sense that I am easy because they know what to give me, how to set up the IV for me because they know where to after seeing my arms so many times.  Even after hearing that, knowing that the little airplane next to my name signifying that I am a “frequent flyer” there still makes me uneasy.  I even took my MacBook to the Emergency Room and pounded out a story for my new book before getting meds!  So, I am trying to amp myself up by listening to a Motown mix on Spotify.

On a good front though a little disability news.  I spoke to my Medicaid case worker on Wednesday and got some things cleared up, so it looks like I will be approved for a program that I qualify that basically covers all of my medical premiums and copays, etc.  Yay!

Another positive, I woke up this morning and after taking a shower checked my twitter notifications and saw that a tweet that I sent out three weeks ago about my book was retweeted, and the tweet has been seen over 2K times, and is still growing by the hour!  I spent the day yesterday submitting to agents, and writing.

So far today, my best friend (of almost thirty-years next year) has been adding in memories of things that I forgot about of stories that I started writing.  This really warms my heart because with my first book she stood back during my process of writing and publishing, then waited to read the book with everyone else when it came out.  Now, she is reading stories when I send them along and showing coworkers to prove these things actually happened!

Sorry for a long blog.  I hope everyone is doing well, and that you are all more productive than me today… or as productive as your body lets you be!

Much Love

Life, Uncategorized

Recharge

Hi!

I’m going to be honest, it’s been a rough few days.  I have not been able to communicate with really anyone since Saturday other than errands I had to run to get my disability  things in further order.  Starting Sunday I woke up with a migraine, that eventually led me to the hospital, a day of recovery, then a day of severe depression (with crying in the fetal position) out of nowhere, and finalized by anxiety attacks all night, until ending this morning. So, I decided that I needed to do some self care.  I made some coffee, two English muffins, and forced myself to sit on my couch and watch three hours of late night comedy clips (I LOVE Seth Meyers) and a few sitcoms.  Now, I am recharged, and listening to an eighties mix on Spotify while I prepare to write a few stories for the next book that I hope to put out before Memorial Day weekend.

For a book update, I sold/downloaded more books than expected, and I only hope to get more notice over the holiday weekend.  I got a lot of great reviews, and not just from close friends!  So, overall I am very happy about it.  My stats are even showing there are people picking it up on kindle unlimited consistently now.  My next book is titled “Anxiety Too” and eventually I will slowly reveal why in-between more explanations of my disability acquisition process.  I know my goal was to update this daily, but as you know with the bipolar brain… shit happens, and it’s not when you plan it to.

Anyway, I hope that everyone’s weekend went well!  Fell free to share the good and the bad with me if you want or need to chat!

Much Love.